Last night our friends were over with their daughter/our god daughter and Grant & I quickly realized how un-baby-proofed our home is! She motored around everywhere on all fours and occasionally stopped to stand in the middle of the floor and took a few cautious steps - she also did a very funny jump-skip manoeuvre (wish that was caught on video)! Grant & I were constantly running after her (baby gates are wonderful inventions we will need to invest in)!! Our friends are expecting again and last night they invited Grant & I to their ultrasound!! Words cannot express (cheesy cliche but very true here) how that invitation made me feel - I had one of those light-bulb moments because it never really occured to me that Grant & I will not have that experience with our own child and to be invited by our friends to see their baby through the ultrasound monitor is an amazing gift, privilege and experience we would not have had - Thank you!!! This morning I called my girlfriend who just had her baby last Friday and as she was telling me about her labour, delivery, and first week as a new mom, I could hear the excitement, awe, love and pure joy in her voice. I was able to chat with her husband too because he answered the phone and he sounded sooooo happy, I could hear him grinning from ear to ear!
Grant & I may not be able to view our baby in an ultrasound monitor and hear the heartbeat and I will not experience child birth and be able to share that story with other mothers, and part of me feels that I am missing out on essential milestones & experiences of motherhood - but I will get to experience the awe of seeing our friends' baby in the monitor and hearing the heartbeat and I loved listening to my friend as she told me about her first week as a new mom. I'm grateful that I am going through these emotions and moments of enlightenment now and have the opportunity to express it with the support of our family and friends during this journey towards adoption.