It was one of those days

Most days I am able to think rationally and my emotions are in-check. I can say that I have completely accepted my own infertility and am very excited about being able to adopt our precious child soon....but, then there are days like yesterday. At first I couldn't figure out why I was not motivated to help Grant in the kitchen as he tackled making a roasted pepper soup and roasted tomato soup and I remained curled up on the couch under some blankets for most of the evening. It eventually dawned on me why I was feeling so down and I was able to peel myself off the couch and help Grant finish making the soups after a little pep-talk from my wonderful husband. Earlier in the day a co-worker was "showing off" her non-existent pregnancy bump. She's due in January, which would make her about 5 months pregnant and my non-pregnant belly is rounder than hers. There's suspicion amongst my co-workers that this colleague struggles with an eating disorder. When she first told me she was expecting, she spoke proudly that she never had to wear maternity clothes with her last pregnancy and is pretty sure this pregnancy would be the same. I realized why I was curled up on the couch last night, not motivated to do anything...I was angry. How can someone who doesn't taken care of her body be able to get pregnant twice and I am infertile. I did everything right, from taking prenatal vitamins and making sure I ate well to buying maternity clothes when I found them on sale - where is the fairness in all of this??? I am normally very excited for friends and people in my life who are pregnant, but for this colleague it's difficult for me to be happy....it's just not fair.

your AMAZING NEWBORN...but you'll have to wait

I finished reading "Your Amazing Newborn" by Marshal Klaus & Phyllis Klaus and I learned so much about newborns and their amazing capabilities. Did you know that if you place a newborn (dried but not washed) directly onto her mother's bare chest following birth, within an hour the baby will make her own way to her mother's breast by pushing up with her arms & hands and kicking with her feet and begin to suckle and feed for the first time all on her own!!! I also really appreciated chapter 9 "The Newly Adopted Baby" - When I turned the page I was surprised to see that the authors dedicated an entire chapter to bonding, connecting, nurturing, feeding, cuddling, and loving an adopted baby. The authors described a technique to enable an adoptive mother to breastfeed that doesn't include the use of drugs - An adoptive mother can place a small bag of formula on her shoulder with a fine tube leading to her nipple, and as the baby sucks every two and a half to four hours her breast is stimulated by the infant's suckling, via her pituitary gland, to produce an increasing amount of milk. The supply of milk typically increases in three or four days, but it takes up to two weeks to obtain a satisfactory output. I'm going to ask my ND about this technique as I would much rather use an approach that requires the least amount of drugs to achieve breastfeeding success!

On another note, I know many of you are wondering if we've heard anything about our homestudy and here's the manager's response to the email I sent her earlier this month:

Yes, I do have your file; waiting amongst others for homestudy. All your documents are on file as well, so you are right, the next step is to be assigned a worker to complete your homestudy.

It is quite hard to estimate when this will be, but rest assured, I will assign someone as soon as I can. Please don't lose hope during this waiting period - we DO need adoptive families! My challenge is not having the staffing resources needed to process applications in a timely manner.

BLAH, BLAH, BLAH.............